Life change

It’s that time of year again…

Leave a comment

 

new years resolution cartoonThis is the time of year when people think about new starts and new beginnings.  This is often accompanied by a raft of New Year resolutions, a burst of good intentions, and then the reality of life slides in and in most cases the good intentions melt away.   So how can we make these desired changes stick?  What do we need to do differently to make a difference?

The importance of time

What cause us to make a new years resolution? new-years-resolutions cartoon 3 Is it because we really want to change or is it some societal, cultural or social expectation that causes us to think we need to change?  If it’s the latter then its likely that the wish to change is not in the right place and so it’s best to leave any big resolution to later.  This relates to knowing if the driver of change is to do with time (e.g. if I don’t do this now I never will).  Can the planned change wait for a more opportune moment?  If the answer to this is yes, then wait. However if the need is pressing and the desire is strong, this is a good time to think about the changes you want to make.

 The driver of change

calvin-hobbes-new-years-resolutions-e1357242545665Knowing why you want to change is important and this will strengthen resolve on those days where you are feeling tired, fed up or weak.  Is your driver towards a need for something better or is it a move away from something not so good.  Does your need for change relate to money, status, progression, greater autonomy or freedom, wellbeing, health or another cause?

 Outcome thinking

Once you know what is driving your resolution, you can then frame it as an outcome.

For example

  • When I have greater autonomy, I will go to the school sports matches every Wednesday afternoon
  • When I have more money, I will pay off the mortgage which will give me greater freedom.
  • When I achieve my promotion, I’m going to change the way my team works so we operate more flexibly
  • When I am healthy I will enjoy meeting friends at the beach
  • When I can swim I will have more fun on summer holidays

Funny-new-years-resolutions-cartoon-funny If you can frame your resolution as an outcome, you have a better chance at sticking with it.  Try and make it as clear as possible.  Close your eyes, imagine you have achieved your resolution. How do you feel; what do you see; what can you hear; what are you touching, tasting, and looking at?

By adding colour, smells, tastes, touching, sights and sounds you make your outcome more real.


The big how

I will write a whole blog on the importance of how later on.  So this is a condensed version.  ‘How’, and not ‘what’, is a vital step to achieving your goal.  In NLP terms this is when we take the big chunk (the big idea) and break it down into little chunks or small steps of reality.  This is the time when the big idea becomes practical.  How are you going to make this change, breaking it down into tiny, manageable steps?

An example

2016 Resolution: Paying off the mortgage by 2020 so we have more freedom to choose where to work and when to go on holiday.

  • I will cut down on my discretionary spending each week by only buying items on my shopping list and staying away from internet discount shopping sites
  • I will create a spreadsheet this week to manage our family finances more transparently.  I will update this every Sunday using our receipts for the goods we’ve paid for.  I will then cross check this with by bank statements when they arrive
  • I will not buy any more new clothes during 2016
  • We will only eat out as a family once a month
  • We will only take one family holiday every 12 months for the next 5 years
  • I will plan our evening meals every Friday evening and shop for ingredients each Saturday and Wednesday
  • I will use up all the food in our freezer so by March 2016 it is empty and then free for more planned (and better) use.
  • I will cut our spending on food by £20 from its current budget, each week so there is less food being thrown out.

creating-smart-goals_5071678c7c1c7_w1500I am  focused on how I will make the small steps to help make my resolution achievable.  The actions, I will take are specific, achievable and measurable.  They are also time bound and realistic.  In other words they are SMART.

I like this little drawing – hope it helps you ‘get the picture’.

 

If you want some help with how to make your resolution more real and SMART, drop me a note or comment.  And if you get stuck or fed up, remember we’re only human, it’s just a moment in time and your feelings will pass. Tomorrow is another day!

New Years resolution caroon 2

Let me know how you get on.

Life change

Hogmanay Traditions

Leave a comment

When I was growing up in the north of Scotland, Hogmanay (New Years Eve)  was the time of year which was celebrated the most. This was common practice as for nearly 400 years, from the end of the 17th century to the 1950’s, Christmas was almost banned by the Scottish kirk as being a Popish or Catholic celebration.

So when my parents were growing up they were used to many Scots working over Christmas. The winter solstice holiday was at New Year. Known as Hogmanay, this is the time of year when family and friends get together to celebrate and exchange gifts.

Hogmanay Edinburgh

New Years eve was always a time of stress in our house.  My sister and I would be put to work by my Mother as she insisted on a full spring clean of our home while simultaneously stressing about the amount of food and drink required to keep everyone well fed and watered. My Father meanwhile, was focused on the business of “First footing”.  Fisrt footingAs he was tall and dark, he was much in demand to be the first person to cross the threshold of friends and neighbours carrying the obligatory lump of coal  and bottle of whisky.  But he would not cross our door until we had a first foot of someone of similar bearing to bring our home the same good luck for the year ahead.

Both my parents were musical – my Dad played the guitar and my Mum any keyboard. Both were also blessed with good voices and were happy to entertain.  They also drank and smoked to excess by today’s standards.  All of these factors combined meant that our house was the house to come to bring in the New Year.  Here you could settle in, sing a song or two, tell and listen to stories, throw your piece of coal in the fire and stagger home in the wee small hours with a belly full of ‘tattie’ soup, Cheese balls, Twiglets and a dram or two or three…

As a young girl I would sneak out of my bedroom to sit in the hallway, risking the extensive wrath of either parent so I could soak up the party atmosphere.  When I was older I was permitted to stay up for a sip of a ‘Snowball’ (Advokaat and lemonade) and when older still I was eventually allowed to stay up for the entire nights revelries.

While in my twenties, I continued to seek Hogmanay celebrations to bring in the New Year. My revised tradition was to visit different European cities each year to celebrate the new start.  This all stopped when I found myself unceremoniously dumped from a long-term relationship on the bells of New Year 1995.

A few years after, I moved to Uganda.  By now, my new tradition was to climb East African mountains for Hogmanay.  This way I enjoyed Mount Kenya and Mount Elgon before having the pleasure of watching the sun rise over Kilimanjaro as I stood with two others on the top of Mount Meru. Kili from Meru

This was the start of the new millennium and I was very grateful to be fortunate enough to have such a unique experience.

Having Roscoe meant that Hogmanay ceased to be our most important festive celebration and we have subsequently embraced all the tinsel and razzmatazz of Christmas.

But this year, 2015, has been a tough year for us as a family.  My health issues caused by workplace bullying, stress and overwork and Craig’s increasing responsibilities means that now more than ever, we need to resurrect the Hogmanay tradition of banishing the old and looking forward to the New.

So in the best Scots tradition, I would like to end this last post of 2015 with a little light comedy.

Rev I M Jolly. Hogmanay. 1980

Scotch and Wry. New Years Day

Billy Connelly. Rangers v Celtic

Voice recognition in Scotland

Robin Williams. Golf

Wishing you all health, happiness and prosperity throughout 2016 and beyond.

 

 

 

 

 

Life change

My living will

Link Leave a comment

 

Candy Chang quote on death

When I wrote about the art of dying, it broadened my  thinking  about what I do want, given a choice, when my time comes.   Surely the art of dying is the biggest change that any human being experiences, so how do we prepare?  Perhaps by removing our cultural angst that this is not a conversation until our advancing years. Perhaps by encouraging others just as young, or even younger than me, to think about this, we can collectively be better prepared and make it easier on our loved ones.  And to highlight my point, today, Craig found out that a colleague of his suddenly died on Christmas Eve from a heart attack.  He was 52.  He leaves behind a wife and 2 children under 10 years old.

None of us know when our time will come and how it will come.  By putting together a living will we create a foundation for the medical establishment and our loved ones to go to which will guide them, perhaps at a time when we find we cannot speak for ourselves.  So I’ve started to do some research on how to go about this.

In the UK, living wills are more commonly known as advance decisions or advance statements and, as long as you are over 18 and have the mental capacity to make such a statement, your wishes will be considered by your family and medical team.  I should point out that, although an advance statement is not legally binding, the medical team should take it into account if they need to make a ‘best interests’ decision on your behalf when you are unable to tell them what you would like.  There is a useful fact-sheet on this at

www.ageuk.org.uk

Terry Pratchett 1And I know this is not an area which is fashionable to discuss, despite the best efforts of Terry Pratchett, who was open about DEATH AND HIS LOVE OF CURRY.

 

If you are interested in this topic, a  great 6 minutes of your time  will be to watch and listen to a Ted Talk by Judy MacDonald Johnson who gives a practical experience of what to do to plan ahead.

Ted talks

So I have some initial thoughts about what I would like covered in my advance statement and they include areas such as;

Diagnosis of a neurological disorder.  I will book my trip to Dignitas in Switzerland while I’m still able to take responsibility for myself (if the UK still hangs on to its cultural beliefs that life is to be prolonged at any cost).  I have no intention of not being aware of my impact on others, or on myself should this occur.

Brain Trauma.  Turn off the life support and move forward. Don’t keep me for a single day as a non-functioning human being – I want no slow torture for me or for those who love me.

Locked in syndrome or  an accident where I am unable to control my limbs or body.  Don’t artificially feed me or resuscitate me – let me go with dignity.  Do not hold onto me hoping for a miracle cure.

Organ donation.  Give away whatever of my organs will be of use to another soul.  I will have no use for them; hopefully they may help someone else.

47462-My-Living-Will

When I write my living will, I’ll make sure I discuss it with my GP.  When it’s signed I’ll give a copy to my Doctor and my closest loved ones and I’ll make sure I review it every 5 years or so.

I’m not yet 50 and I love life.  But I have learned over the past few months than crazy life happenings can occur at any time.  I know it’s impossible to plan for every eventuality but there are actions I can take  to protect those I love.if-you-dont-have-a-plan-you-become-part-of-somebody-elses-plan

 

 

Changes created by the cancer adventure, Life change

The art of dying

3 Comments

While I was in hospital one of the nurses mentioned a patient in the mens’ ward who was 94 and had just undergone an operation very similar to mine.

It got me thinking.  This is not an insubstantial operation and, honestly, the recovery part is a bit pants.  Graft care, swallowing, washing, eating, mouth care, halitosis; general recovery from a serious dose of anaesthetic. Frankly, it’s not for the faint hearted.  So I am intrigued by why anyone who has had a good innings in life – and 94 is good innings – wants to put themselves through this for diminishing returns.  I’m not saying we should not operate on those well enough and keen enough to endure the effects.  But when does life at any cost supercede a dignified death?dignified death

Craig and I have first hand experience of this dilemma.  My father was diagnosed, at the age of 57, of non-hodgekinsons lymphoma.   He refused all treatment and marched towards death with his arms wide open and a large smile on his face.  For the last 9 months of his life we put our differences to one side and learned, for the first time, how to be father and daughter.  It was a privilege to be sitting with him throughout his final night, listening to the death rattle, watching his last breath escape from his body, knowing this was what he wanted.  He was better at death than he ever was at life.

By contrast Craig’s father suffered a huge stroke caused by a bleed at the bottom of his brain stem, when he was 82.  Overnight, he went from being a fiercely independent, fit, capable man to being a shell, initially in a hospital bed and latterly at home, where he relies on others to wash him, dress him, take him to the bathroom and attend to all his needs.  He lost his dignity when that stroke took him down, but his will to live, or will to not die, beats very strongly.

And our third personal example is my Papa, who was in his late 80’s when my Nana died.  They were inseparable and I would initially have laid bets that Papa would not be far behind.  Much to my surprise, and his chagrin, he continued to function for the next 4 years.  He cooked and cleaned for himself, and I would often find him in the kitchen trying to recreate his favourite treats from her old cookbook.  But he was lonely and he could not wait to die.  Once he confessed that he would wake in the morning and be disappointed that he was still breathing.  For him, it was not the fear of dying, he was just fed up of living.

And these examples, from the 94-year-old patient to my Papa, cause me to think about the art of dying and how I want to prepare for its eventuality.  Back in Victorian times this was a common conversation to have over tea; but somehow, with advances in medical science and our incredible National Health Service, we may have come to expect a long life as a matter of fact.  I watch my father-in-law and hear stories of older people being kept alive no matter what and I wonder at what cost to our dignity and self-respect?Budda 1

Given a choice, I would like an elegant death and at broad principle level, I’d rather a shorter life and a dignified death than a longer life requiring medical intervention or care.

Why are we not more accepting of dying as much as we are of the art of breathing?

 

 

 

 

Changes created by the cancer adventure, Life change

Tribe

1 Comment

All my life I have been concerned about brand and reputation.  Not just from a company perspective but how I personally appear and show up in every work, social and personal situation.

Good and bad people

Rarely I have let my guard down.   I learned, from an early age, to hide fear, hurt, frustration, pain and tears.  These were for quiet solitary moments or for at the pictures, when it’s okay to cry like a baby at some story on the screen.

So telling people who I really care about that I had cancer was really hard.  In the beginning it felt like a weakness; I was apologetic and then would try to defuse the situation with some weak joke or quip.  Or I’d start asking questions about them – anything to take the focus away from me.  Those initial days I spent a lot of time in tears or nearly in tears. It seemed like I had a river inside and it was determined to burst its banks and cause a flood.

I also began to realise that I could not control the message, that people would talk and would share what they felt was appropriate for them and the recipient.  Once the news was out, I could not contain or manage it.  There was little spin to put on this, apart from to keep repeating that I was not a typical mouth cancer patient, never having smoked, a light drinker and never had the HPE virus.  I was also under 50!

So, recognising I needed my friends to help me get through this, I set up a Whatsapp group for those who had it on their phones.  For those I really needed I begged and cajoled that they loaded this app.  Friends such as Jill, in Canada, who is in her late 70’s, and Jenny, my most technophobic  friend, were just two examples of those who downloaded Whatsapp and learned to stick with it.  This group – my tribe/ network/ buddies/team – are exceptional individuals.  Collectively they are beyond compare.  They are there for me when I need to keep myself looking outwards. They offer comfort, treat me with love and derision when I get lost in my own self, chew the cud, tell stories and generally keep me going. Best of all, they don’t need me now to start or even keep the conversation flowing; they will chat amongst themselves, despite the fact that Whatsapp is the only way many of them have met.

I’ve stopped trying to present myself in a particular way – what my tribe have taught me is to be myself.  So when I’ve been frightened,  focused, driven, scared, happy or confused – they know.  It’s been such a revelation that by letting go, by being me and not worrying about my brand, just how much better I feel about myself and just how much I help and inspire others.

So today I want to acknowledge and be thankful for having Karen, Jenny, Jill, Haydee, Anke, Isobel,Clare, Lucy, Anna, Luci, Catherine, Carol, Andrea, Denise, Justin, Paul, Craig,  Tracey, Sam, Wendy, Sally, Amanda, Dani, Maria, Jan, Jodie and Julia as part of my tribe.

womenfun

And what’s amazing is there are others too, fabulous friends who have also reached out and offered love and support.

This blog is a result of me learning to be who I am.  And this is a direct result of the love of my tribe.

 

Changes created by the cancer adventure

Here we go…

Leave a comment

Standing by the window, I watch the first streaks of orange burst through the grey sky, making grey-black silhouettes of the trees which line the edge of the car park and the world beyond.  A solitary man, head bent, runs across the empty space, rushing to get into the hospital before the wind grabs him. The birds are only now beginning to wake.  I look at the clock – an hour to go – and wonder at the hours I have already been standing, still, heart beating, head swirling, rise and fall breathing.

Last night Craig dropped me at hospital.  I ran inside – a bit like the chap in the car park – eager to move, to talk, to smile, to ‘be me’. Two hours later, after both consultants had left my room, I was in no doubt about the hours and days ahead and the associated risks.  They had taken great care to explain in detail the various elements of the procedure, the order in which things would be done and the quite substantial risks attached.  They had even used my whiteboard to draw this out.IMG_6716  No burning question had been left unanswered.  Many responses left me scared and uncertain.  There were still unknowns ahead and they could not give me definitive and accurate responses.  I signed the waiver sheets, refused the sleeping pills they had prescribed and sat down to explore.

At crux times, when I cannot control and I can only react, I have learned to watch my mind dance in the fear.  It dances like a demon, hard and fast, twirling, jumping, pointing.  Questions like “what if…”. Worries such as “what about…” Imaginings around catastrophe, disaster, disappointment are all there.  But I also know, through practice, that this is just the initial stage, and that if I listen beyond the cacophony of noise, my subconscious brings the true questions, and many of the answers.  Am I strong enough, mentally and physically, to go through this?  Yes, I am.  Can I do anything different to change the cancer and the treatment I have chosen?  No I can’t.  Do I have the right team around me?  Yes I do.

And I let my mind settle enough to practice some deep breathing.  It’s just a change, a moment in time, I am fine, I will be fine, I can do this, I can visualise my way though to the other side.  I feel the softness of the bed beneath me, the quiet ticking of the clock is soothingly repetitive.  I watch the hands go round, ticking every minute forward.  My books lie discarded.  I look at my bag, neatly packed as if ready for my flight.  I think of others, collectively and individually, and I reach for my phone.  Jill’s voice soothes me, and the meta blessings at the end of her meditation session pulls me way beyond my current situation.Budda meta blessing

“May they be safe, well, at ease, happy and content and live their lives in harmony”.  I send this out to everyone that comes to mind.

I am calm now.  I recognise I can influence no more. It is what it is, until it isn’t.  I am on the surgery train; no stopping, getting off or pulling the emergency cord.  So when the consultant surgeon pops in to say hello and to find out how I am, I respond, “I’m ready, let’s get going”.

compression socksAnd to prove that you can never be too clever, outside my door is a poster on how to put on the hospital gown.  I had studied it the night before and managed to follow all instructions completely.  So, after struggling with the compression socks and eventually managing to get them on, the theatre staff are more than amused to find me keen as mustard and as pleased as punch, all dressed up but wearing my hospital gown backwards.  Apparently the poster is for visitors who are visiting infected patients. Only it doesn’t say this.  So I get ribbed mercilessly all the way down to theatre and have to endure the anaesthetist insisting I put the thing on the right way before he knocks me out.  And, they take off my knickers.  There is no dignity left.

knickers in a tree

 

Changes created by the cancer adventure

Questions

10 Comments

curious childI learn a lot from my inquisitive child.  Never to give up if the answer I get doesn’t  make sense, to re-frame the question or wait to ask the same question at a different time or even to give the answer and ask the recipient what they think of the response (Roscoe is particularly good at this!)

So I’m sharing some of the questions related to my mouth Questionscancer which I’ve asked in the hope that they are useful for others in similar circumstances.

Initial Consultation

  • Tell me, in simple terms, what it is?
  • What is the best way to treat this for complete cure/eradication?
  • What is the length of this proposed treatment?
  • Are there any alternatives and if so what are they?
  • What are the pros/cons of these alternatives?
  • What are the side effects of the treatment you propose?
  • What is my survival success rate if we go ahead with your proposed treatment?
  • What are the long-term effects as a result of this treatment?

2nd Consultation

  • Will my HRT patch cause an issue, if yes, what is an alternative solution?
  • How does the tongue work ? (I asked this because of my mouth cancer and I wanted to start visualisation and memory recall)
  • What are the odds/chances of me needing a tracheotomy?
  • What can you do to avoid me having a tracheotomy?
  • What level of scarring will there be?
  • Where exactly will you take skin grafts from, are there any options on this?
  • How many dressings and wounds will I have immediately after surgery?
  • Will I need a feeding tube?
  • How much pain relief will I be given?. Can this be self-administered?
  • Will my taste buds be affected?

During Surgery

  • How much physical manipulation of the body is there likely to be?
  • Which part of the body will have the most trauma?
  • What risks are involved?
  • What can I do now to enable the operation to be a success?

Post surgery

  • How do I communicate with the nurses if I’m unable to speak after surgery?
  • What can I do to help the healing process?
  • Are there any spousal counselling services available?
  • Are there any camouflage make up sessions available?  (asked because my scarring is visible)
  • How much speech therapy can I have?
  • What guidance can they give to stop a re occurrence

– dietary guidance

– lifestyle guidance

– well-being guidance

  • How often will my dressings have to be changed?
  • Can the dressings be changed locally?
  • How long is it likely to be before speech returns to normal?
  • When can I drive?
  • How often do I see the consultant surgeon?
  • How often do I see one of his team?

On returning hometraveling-returning-home

  • What changes in my mouth do I need to look for that should have me worried?
  • What medicines do they give me to take home to manage the pain?
  • Can I get my neck wound wet? (I was worried about hair washing!!)
  • When will the plaster cast on my arm come off?
  • How do I best protect the arm wound?
  • How do I minimise the scar damage?
  • Do I need a special cushion for being in the car?
  • When do my neck stitches/arm stitches/tummy stitches/ mouth stitches come out?
  • When will we have a longer term prognosis?
  • Who do I call if there is a problem?
Changes created by the cancer adventure

Progress two weeks on

2 Comments

This time two weeks ago I was lying on an operating theatre having half my tongue removed and replaced with a graft from my wrist, which in turn was replaced with a graft from my tummy.  I also had the lymph glands in my neck removed and replaced with the radial artery from my left arm.  In addition they removed some other lymph nodes,  a couple of saliva glands and a couple of small arteries.  I was in theatre for 12 hours because they needed to connect arteries and veins and I am only little, with little veins.  So this microscopic surgery requires time, patience and precision.

operating theatre

With the amount of surgery required (over 10 hours on the operating table) it takes 2 consultant surgeons and a large surgical team, as well as the theatre staff and the incredible nurses in intensive care to get me through the first 24 hours.

The fact that I walked out of the Royal Country hospital at lunchtime the following Friday is testament to the skill, care and dedication of a large and wide NHS team.

And the knowledge that I am cancer free, two weeks later, is very much down to the skills and knowledge of my consultant surgeon.  He did as he told me he would; he removed the cancer.

So how am I doing?

I have pain in my left ear; apparently this is due to some jaw trauma and with medication it’s completely manageable.  This should go over time.

The stitches are out from my ear to my neck and across my tummy.  I cannot put Bio oil on yet, as the wounds need to heal for another couple of weeks.  Instead, I slather on Vaseline in a nightly ritual that is both comforting and distressing. Comforting, because I am being proactive; and distressing, because I am vain.

450---Vaseline_Original_Petroleum_Jelly_50ml_tcm28-298681

My left shoulder is stiff and sore but I understand this is because they have had to cut so many nerve endings around my neck. The physio exercises they have given me will help this.

The left arm still has 28 stitches in it.  They are supposed to be disolvable but they are stubbornly clinging on.  I can now also access the skin graft, which is an oval at the top of my wrist (just below my thumb) measuring approx 3in by 2in. This means another 32 stitches and some staple damage after they had stapled the blue sponge protecting the skin graft.  This graft has taken well and it also gets a coating of Vaseline but only every second night as we need to keep the grafted skin dry and supple.

My tongue has moved from being an alien being in my mouth to becoming an object of curiousity.  One day it is smooth like a baby’s bottom; the next, it feels as if its splitting in two.  It is still ginormous and is a muscle I can’t control.  The sounds that it creates are either jaw droppingly funny, howlingly embarassing or almost legible.  I have found a small pocket to the right hand side of my mouth that is not swollen.  Careful placement of a single solitary chip is like winning the  lottery.

Foods to avoid are those which are soft and lumpy, such as  porridge and scrambled egg.  Jelly is hilarious – I cannot control where it goes and it dribbles down my chin like I am a 3 month old again.  Rice is also to be avoided.  Three grains caused me so many issues, made worse that I tried this social experiment when we were out to lunch.

Women queuing for theatre bathroom

I had to go to the ladies loo and chase the grains around my mouth with my finger.  This turned into some Hammer horror nightmare, as obviously every woman in the restaurant decided at the same time that they needed to go to the bathroom!  Last night, a small victory; trout and cauliflower cheese,  but it’s a slow laborious process and eventually I get bored with the cold congealed mess on my plate.

So I drink a lot of home-made soup and smoothies, occasionally shooting baleful glances at the food police – AKA Craig – who insists items are consumed.  I hate the shakes that the hospital have so helpfully provided, so most of the time I smile and swallow as the threat of the shake is enough to get me to comply.

Frustratingly, I still get tired quite easily but I’ve been out and about, making it to a Christmas celebration in the pub in Kingsclere, some lunch and a spot of light shopping in Winchester, some supermarket shopping in Basingstoke, a couple of trips back to the hospital in Guildford and Roscoe’s Christmas Carol service at school.

I’ve had lots of visitors to the house and from the get go I have exercised my tongue muscle, even if I sound slurry and drunk.  The whiteboard has remained un-used since we left the hospital ward.

Ahead we need to sort out my speech; this is largely dependent on the tongue swelling.  We also need to look out for wound care, particularly on the skin  graft around the arm and the neck wound.

It’s all very doable.  Frankly I am amazed at how easy and relatively pain-free it’s all been.

 

Changes created by the cancer adventure, Workplace change

Who does what…

Leave a comment

When we are in the planning stages of any business change we often do a RACI – who is responsible, accountable, consulted or informed throughout the change.raci-matrix-responsible-accountable

Needless to say, in the corporate land I inhabit, this is often not observed and it’s often one of the most frustrating things about what I do.

Everyone, of course, is a communications expert and everyone has experienced some kind of change in their lives.  So naturally, people at work think nothing of critiquing or meddling or redoing my work to suit their personal tastes.  I would say 50% of my working life is sorting out the mess that senior executives create when they ‘get involved’.

guilty-dogAnd I am not without blame here either.  I often do a bit of learning & development or recruitment or commercial negotiation with agencies etc. on the side, as these are skills I have from my past roles which I don’t want to lose. Sometimes I forget about the impact this has on my colleagues who already perform these roles in the working environment.

So imagine what would happen if you applied this degree of ‘scope creep’ in a hospital environment?  If the anaesthetist wakes up and says, “I’ve seen the consultant surgeon do this operation 100 times, I’d like a go”.

Thankfully it would never happen!

The RACI in the hospital environment is very well observed.  The consultant surgeon is accountable for removing the cancer, his surgical team are responsible for helping him make this happen, maintaining my health and well-being at all times.  The dietitians are accountable for ensuring I have enough nutrition to heal in the days after the operation, the nurses are responsible for ensuring the feeding tube is in place.  The speech therapists are accountable for providing me with speech and mouth exercises and responsible for making sure I can swallow safely before I’m given water to drink or food to play with! The nursing team are accountable for my health after the operation and responsible for my care in the following days.  Even the receptionist is accountable for making sure I have follow-up sessions scheduled.  You get the general idea.

What this does is create a very efficient system.  Everyone knows their role and everyone is an expert specialist in performing in that role.

But, for me, the most impressive aspect of all is that the leader – the consultant surgeon – seeks others’ ideas and opinions about my treatment, and he listens to what these opinions are before making a decision. He does not  believe he has all the answers.  He seeks the collective knowledge of his team to assess and debate alternatives.

And this collective wisdom means that today I write in recovery – with the cancer all removed and no radiotherapy required.  The decision to remove my lymph glands and nodes means that those 2 sneaky cancer cells, hidden from MRI and other tests, went when they took the lymph glands away.

In change terms – the RACI and associated governance works.  We have ’embedded the change’.

 

 

Changes created by the cancer adventure

Preparations

Leave a comment

I do not sleep much in the week ahead of my operation.  I’m not worried but there is so much to do.  It’s a bit like going on holiday when you run around so much in the days beforehand that you are too exhausted for the first few days of your holiday to really enjoy it!

Image of very tired businesswoman or student with her face on keyboard of laptop

So aside from the fact that it’s 4 weeks to Christmas and that I’ve bought and wrapped all presents and decorated the house, I have also;

  • Had my hair cut and coloured* (can’t have greys in the weeks ahead)
  • Had my eyebrows and eyelashes tinted (must look good on the operating table)
  • Bought a white board and marker pen ( no one is going to stop me from communicating)
  • IMG_1157Purchased two button through night-shirts (‘arse oot hospital goons’ are to be removed as quickly as possible)
  • Bought a small, powerful lavender aromatherapy oil and reeds (I cannot recommend this highly enough as your sense of smell heightens after this op)
  • Set up a whatsapp recovery group (I need my tribe to keep me looking forwards and outwards)
  • Seen the homeopathic Doctor and ordered all my homeopathic drugs in liquid form (any which way baby)
  • Been to the doctor and changed my HRT pills to a HRT patch (So Craig can still sleep easy each night)
  • Been to see Gina my holistic guru and practised Extra sensory tapping, meditation and chanting (Hey! It works for me)
  • Packed five bags – two for me, a small immediate bag for the first couple of nights and a larger one to be brought into hospital later.  And three for Roscoe who is off staying in various mates houses while I’m in hospital. (Won the packing queen award for organisation)
  • Written several lists for Craig (all of which he ignores)

So, given this activity, I’m as ready as I’ll ever be to go and sort out this cancer.

 

*big thanks to Kurt & Danielle Reynolds who changed packed schedules to fit me in to their hair salon ahead of the operation.

 

For those curious about change